10%

Seeing Double

A roll of film that was more than 10 years old

By Kin Mun "mrbrown" Lee

December 31^st, 2021

This photo essay took ten years to make. I did not intend for it that way but one fine day in November 2021, I popped a roll of Agfa APX 400 into my Zeiss Ikon ZM 35mm rangefinder camera and started shooting.

I restarted my film photography in earnest this year, after a ten-year break, and was going to shoot my way through my stash of expired film in the fridge. I had rolls of Fujifilm Neopan 400, Fujifilm Neopan 1600, Fujifilm Natura 1600, Kodak Tri-X 400 and this roll of Agfa APX 400. All expired film. Some not even made anymore.

But I did not mind. It would be fun to shoot my expired film on my various film cameras, I thought.

A Rogue Roll of Film

When I got the roll back from development and scanning, I realized that the roll had two sets of photos on them. One set were the photos I shot in November 2021. And the other set, underneath these images, were taken in 2010.

For some reason, the roll looked like a new one when I took it out of the fridge. The tab was sticking out, which usually means it is unused. But some cameras don't wind the roll all the way in and can sometimes leave the tail sticking out.

At first I was annoyed. Then I looked at the photos and noticed some people and scenes.

A few were friends from church. A few were scenes of the area around my office, and within my office. And a few had my mother in it.

Birthdays in 2021, Parks in 2010

We also celebrated many birthdays in the month of November. The son turned 18. My mother-in-law celebrated her 78th birthday. All the birthday images showed some other scene from ten years ago. It was both surreal and oddly poignant.

Vaccinations and Friends

The wife and I also went for our COVID vaccine booster that month at Potong Pasir CC. Our third shot of Moderna. My friends from church were seen in the background of these images too. Ten years ago, there was no COVID. We hung out without masks. It was like looking at two time periods in one photo.

There was a photo of my youngest daughter, who reluctantly let me take her photo while she was taking a break from her revision for O Levels, and then in the background, an image of the toy shelves in my office, from ten years ago.

This is my office manager, June, in 2010, overlaid with a shot of the vaccination centre in 2021.

Mom and the Bird

Then the last few photos hit me the hardest.

Nestled in the photos I took of my wife and Faith's caregiver, Marian, cleaning and feeding Pebbles, a cockatiel we had rescued, were images of my mother from ten years ago.

Mom can be seen at the some coffee shop or hawker centre, ordering food and coffee.

2021 was not a good year for us. We lost our 四姨 (Fourth Aunt, my mother's younger sister) in 2020. And we lost mom in March of 2021.

The family has learned to cope through two years of the pandemic. But those two deaths hit us harder than anything.

We are thankful though, for many things. The family had food on the table and a roof over our heads.

The wife and I were gainfully employed.

The son had a good year in school, and our youngest daughter overcame many challenges to complete her O Level year.

Faith, our oldest, who has autism, could return to her Day Activity Centre more often, despite the on-and-off restrictions we went through.

And we all got vaccinated too. From the oldest (me) to the youngest (Joy).

In fact, four out of six of us have had our booster shots. Only the two youngest teens have not done their booster yet.

This messed-up roll of film reminded me that time does not wait for us. Ten years can go by so quickly. Two years of a pandemic went by quickly too.

And in this roll of double exposures, I was cognizant of the fact that we need to cherish our loved ones. Be it at home, or at work, or at play.

There are birthdays to be celebrated.

There is a child growing up.

There is an elderly loved one growing older.

There is work to be done.

There is food and kopi to be enjoyed.

There is a bird to rescue and care for.

There is a pandemic to protect ourselves against.

There is a friend to be with.

There is family to cherish.

Ten years in one roll of film. 36 exposures capturing two time periods of our lives, reminding us all that, whether living in plenty or in want, or living in joy or loss… this too shall pass.